








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3088 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4233 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3583 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3672 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,008,728 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 61% | 109 |
| 59% | 58 | ||
| #3 | Huff | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Shockplug | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | sauce sauce | 51% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 59% | 58 | ||
| #3 | Huff | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Shockplug | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | sauce sauce | 51% | 94 |
| #6 | theMFR | 47% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sauce sauce | 15 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | theMFR | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Boxolotl | 7 | 0.0032 |
| 3 | 0.0026 | ||
| #5 | Huff | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theMFR | 348 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | sauce sauce | 217 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shockplug | 186 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Huff | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Boxolotl | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | +3.73 | 81 | 47 |
| #2 | TheOGPotato | +2.20 | 88 | 51 |
| #3 | sauce sauce | -0.06 | 82 | 48 |
| #4 | Shockplug | -0.35 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | Huff | -1.58 | 60 | 62 |





