








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1075 | 29% |
| Smokes | 751 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 895 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,253 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 71% | 45 |
| 63% | 27 | ||
| #3 | TheOGPotato | 51% | 94 |
| #4 | theMFR | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 71% | 45 |
| 63% | 27 | ||
| #3 | TheOGPotato | 51% | 94 |
| #4 | theMFR | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheOGPotato | 11 | 0.0058 |
| 3 | 0.0056 | ||
| #3 | Boxolotl | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | theMFR | 2 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheOGPotato | 207 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Boxolotl | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | theMFR | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | +5.69 | 83 | 50 |
| #2 | TheOGPotato | +1.67 | 87 | 49 |
| #3 | sauce sauce | +0.43 | 83 | 50 |
| -2.87 | 79 | 44 | ||
| #5 | theMFR | -2.96 | 60 | 51 |





