








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12318 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10495 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9474 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9145 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,470,551 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamilton | 59% | 92 |
| #2 | jdubzdab0ss | 53% | 463 |
| #3 | bryaNNN | 52% | 84 |
| #4 | i8taterzツ | 50% | 377 |
| #5 | chizz ツ | 48% | 565 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chizz ツ | 21 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | i8taterzツ | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | jdubzdab0ss | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | xHugs | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lamilton | 7 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chizz ツ | 1106 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #2 | jdubzdab0ss | 890 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #3 | i8taterzツ | 726 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | gdisteve | 654 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #5 | Lamilton | 499 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdubzdab0ss | +2.22 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Lamilton | +1.03 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | bryaNNN | +0.75 | 76 | 75 |
| #4 | -eight | +0.61 | 50 | 74 |
| #5 | gdisteve | +0.56 | 71 | 65 |





