










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 628 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1449 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2675 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,940 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdubzdab0ss | 52% | 160 |
| #2 | chizz ツ | 49% | 181 |
| #3 | i8taterzツ | 47% | 165 |
| #4 | -eight | 47% | 230 |
| #5 | gdisteve | 45% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eight | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | chizz ツ | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | i8taterzツ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | jdubzdab0ss | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | gdisteve | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eight | 1031 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #2 | chizz ツ | 377 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | jdubzdab0ss | 351 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | i8taterzツ | 336 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | gdisteve | 194 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdubzdab0ss | +3.37 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | gdisteve | +1.01 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | -eight | +0.74 | 49 | 74 |
| #4 | chizz ツ | +0.41 | 52 | 57 |
| #5 | i8taterzツ | -1.89 | 47 | 67 |





