








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4769 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5379 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4449 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3138 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,335,353 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdubzdab0ss | 51% | 177 |
| #2 | -eight | 48% | 291 |
| #3 | Lamilton | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | chizz ツ | 46% | 266 |
| #5 | i8taterzツ | 46% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lamilton | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | chizz ツ | 46% | 266 |
| #5 | i8taterzツ | 46% | 140 |
| #6 | xHugs | 45% | 78 |
| #7 | bryaNNN | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chizz ツ | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | -eight | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | i8taterzツ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | bryaNNN | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | jdubzdab0ss | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eight | 1297 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #2 | chizz ツ | 511 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Lamilton | 338 | 0.30 | 10 min |
| #4 | jdubzdab0ss | 324 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | i8taterzツ | 244 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdubzdab0ss | +1.87 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | bryaNNN | +1.08 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | gdisteve | +0.81 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | -eight | +0.46 | 52 | 73 |
| #5 | Lamilton | +0.07 | 70 | 71 |





