








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 339 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8386 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8148 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3667 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5331 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,754 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdubzdab0ss | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | Cornflake | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | -eight | 59% | 92 |
| #4 | chizz ツ | 53% | 92 |
| #5 | intricate | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | chizz ツ | 53% | 92 |
| #5 | intricate | 48% | 60 |
| #6 | gdisteve | 47% | 53 |
| #7 | i8taterzツ | 46% | 39 |
| #8 | Staleryebread | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eight | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | chizz ツ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Staleryebread | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Cornflake | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | gdisteve | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eight | 446 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | intricate | 201 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | chizz ツ | 199 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Staleryebread | 133 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | gdisteve | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamilton | +1.12 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | jdubzdab0ss | +0.99 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | -eight | +0.86 | 46 | 71 |
| #4 | Cornflake | +0.40 | 82 | 49 |
| #5 | gdisteve | +0.10 | 71 | 63 |





