








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5615 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8098 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6079 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5317 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,816 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lamilton | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | bryaNNN | 54% | 69 |
| #3 | i8taterzツ | 53% | 236 |
| #4 | -eight | 53% | 463 |
| #5 | chizz ツ | 52% | 378 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eight | 17 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | chizz ツ | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | i8taterzツ | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | xHugs | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | bryaNNN | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -eight | 2010 | 0.21 | 57 min |
| #2 | chizz ツ | 734 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | i8taterzツ | 458 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | gdisteve | 405 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | Lamilton | 247 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdubzdab0ss | +2.13 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Lamilton | +1.50 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | -eight | +0.78 | 51 | 75 |
| #4 | bryaNNN | +0.50 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | gdisteve | -0.02 | 71 | 63 |





