








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1526 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 873 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1488 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,935 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | 50% | 70 |
| #2 | Big Ol' Otis | 48% | 163 |
| #3 | Funky_Sasquatch | 48% | 61 |
| #4 | heck yeah | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Funky_Sasquatch | 48% | 61 |
| #4 | heck yeah | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | 44% | 27 |
| #6 | DarkStorm | 44% | 63 |
| #7 | Mmm, Monkey | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Funky_Sasquatch | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | DarkStorm | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Tony | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | 489 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Funky_Sasquatch | 155 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tony | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | DarkStorm | 75 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | heck yeah | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heck yeah | +2.90 | 76 | 49 |
| #2 | Big Ol' Otis | +1.92 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | Tony | +1.10 | 83 | 48 |
| #4 | D4DDY_SEX69 | -0.50 | 39 | 49 |
| #5 | Funky_Sasquatch | -0.99 | 67 | 63 |





