








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3820 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4098 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2772 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2152 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,859,525 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shibble.cfg -13- | 57% | 68 |
| #2 | Sinsier | 55% | 171 |
| #3 | beepboopbonk | 52% | 126 |
| #4 | thatguyPaul | 52% | 92 |
| #5 | Spahghett | 50% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spahghett | 22 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | beepboopbonk | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Big Ol' Otis | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sinsier | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Howellman | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | 789 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | Spahghett | 592 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | beepboopbonk | 353 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | thatguyPaul | 350 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | shibble.cfg -13- | 285 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | +1.81 | 85 | 46 |
| #2 | Sinsier | +1.53 | 44 | 49 |
| #3 | shibble.cfg -13- | +0.71 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | Big Ol' Otis | +0.48 | 65 | 69 |
| #5 | thatguyPaul | +0.27 | 71 | 57 |





