








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1260 | 28% |
| Smokes | 982 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1284 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1033 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,685 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doge | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | Big Ol' Otis | 50% | 119 |
| #3 | DarkStorm | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | D4DDY_SEX69 | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | D4DDY_SEX69 | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | heck yeah | 36% | 11 |
| #7 | Tony | 35% | 23 |
| #8 | Mmm, Monkey | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | D4DDY_SEX69 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | DarkStorm | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Tony | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | 331 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | DarkStorm | 80 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tony | 45 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | heck yeah | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | D4DDY_SEX69 | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | +2.47 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | heck yeah | +1.88 | 79 | 38 |
| #3 | Tony | +1.14 | 74 | 42 |
| #4 | D4DDY_SEX69 | -0.20 | 38 | 47 |
| #5 | Funky_Sasquatch | -0.76 | 66 | 65 |





