








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 935 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1335 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1051 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1088 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,670 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Funky_Sasquatch | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Big Ol' Otis | 48% | 112 |
| #4 | D4DDY_SEX69 | 44% | 63 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Funky_Sasquatch | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Big Ol' Otis | 48% | 112 |
| #4 | D4DDY_SEX69 | 44% | 63 |
| #5 | Hummingbird | 39% | 38 |
| #6 | heck yeah | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Funky_Sasquatch | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | D4DDY_SEX69 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Hummingbird | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Tony | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | 304 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Funky_Sasquatch | 143 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hummingbird | 54 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | D4DDY_SEX69 | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | heck yeah | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Ol' Otis | +4.45 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | Tony | +2.98 | 76 | 45 |
| #3 | heck yeah | +2.97 | 76 | 48 |
| #4 | Funky_Sasquatch | -0.29 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | D4DDY_SEX69 | -0.33 | 43 | 52 |





