








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 891 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1002 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 808 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1052 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,595 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nkosana von skeng | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | Stre_aker | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | woracori | 86% | 14 |
| #4 | CkPwn | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Corrupt | 71% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | KOKKIES | 56% | 9 |
| #11 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 56% | 9 |
| #12 | F/s | 50% | 18 |
| #13 | Gully | 50% | 22 |
| #14 | kobus | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 15 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Corrupt | 8 | 0.0183 |
| #3 | Stano | 2 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Gully | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | woracori | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 212 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gully | 63 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Stano | 56 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Phr33k | 41 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Corrupt | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nkosana von skeng | +3.76 | 55 | 62 |
| #2 | Cloudy | +3.71 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Corrupt | +3.45 | 84 | 53 |
| #4 | Stre_aker | +3.42 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | CkPwn | +2.72 | 73 | 62 |





