








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1069 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




240 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5545 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2667 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4355 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2560 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,274 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudy | 65% | 66 |
| #2 | ReDNaX | 65% | 62 |
| #3 | Corrupt | 61% | 104 |
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 59% | 246 |
| #5 | KOKKIES | 59% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 59% | 246 |
| #5 | KOKKIES | 59% | 210 |
| #6 | YMKlouiB | 56% | 183 |
| #7 | [...idiot...] | 55% | 107 |
| #8 | Jake Dahake | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOKKIES | 52 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | YMKlouiB | 38 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | ReDNaX | 22 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 21 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Corrupt | 21 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YMKlouiB | 859 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | KOKKIES | 738 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #3 | Naughty Noo-Noo | 723 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | Jake Dahake | 353 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | [...idiot...] | 276 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReDNaX | +3.80 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Cloudy | +3.75 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | YMKlouiB | +2.49 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | Corrupt | +2.41 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | [...idiot...] | +1.81 | 86 | 57 |





