








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4520 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3987 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5767 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3796 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $817,727 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 637 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^hNe | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Lynx | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | w1tcher | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Boss Baby | 46% | 65 |
| #5 | LdW | 46% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nattermann | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | M4nod3an | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | Mig0n | 43% | 128 |
| #9 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 41% | 32 |
| #10 | show me bubs | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Mig0n | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | LdW | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Boss Baby | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mig0n | 446 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Boss Baby | 182 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lynx | 139 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | LdW | 131 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | M4nod3an | 92 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | +4.63 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | w1tcher | +4.00 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | Mig0n | +2.29 | 95 | 63 |
| #4 | ^hNe | +1.51 | 84 | 61 |
| #5 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | +0.36 | 86 | 56 |





