








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 432 | 26% |
| Smokes | 378 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 463 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,051 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MK | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Alastor | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | dannyabcro | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | ShebX | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Hypnoxas | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icy | 2 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | MK | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShebX | +5.24 | 80 | 43 |
| #2 | fofner | +4.05 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | Hypnoxas | +3.46 | 69 | 83 |
| #4 | ♥ IMNASA ♥ | +2.98 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | dannyabcro | +2.64 | 32 | 62 |





