








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 623 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1045 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 738 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 831 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $875,310 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PentoXx | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | raiden | 68% | 60 |
| #3 | Alastor | 68% | 100 |
| #4 | Hypnoxas | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | ShebX | 66% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | GoaTb | 56% | 25 |
| #11 | Mariolin | 53% | 17 |
| #12 | D4rkZje | 53% | 19 |
| #13 | Don Huby | 40% | 10 |
| #14 | ReaXis | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icy | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Alastor | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | ShebX | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | GoaTb | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | D4rkZje | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShebX | 256 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | Alastor | 190 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | raiden | 160 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Floeffel | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Icy | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShebX | +1.60 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | GoaTb | +1.13 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | Floeffel | +0.83 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | Laesche | +0.78 | 82 | 37 |
| #5 | Alastor | +0.39 | 73 | 55 |





