








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1185 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1771 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1458 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,977 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alastor | 80% | 40 |
| #2 | Laesche | 68% | 60 |
| #3 | MK | 67% | 39 |
| #4 | Icy | 67% | 66 |
| #5 | roamin | 66% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icy | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Laesche | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Crousi | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | PentoXx | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ShebX | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icy | 210 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Hypnoxas | 179 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | ShebX | 163 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | MrSkopelos27 | 111 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | PentoXx | 107 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laesche | +2.70 | 84 | 39 |
| #2 | ShebX | +2.49 | 69 | 74 |
| #3 | Floeffel | +2.05 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | Alastor | +1.99 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | _4LIEN #awpabuser | +1.91 | 87 | 63 |





