








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 162 | 13% |
| Smokes | 353 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 357 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 334 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,580 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laesche | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | PentoXx | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | MrSkopelos27 | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | raiden | 67% | 39 |
| #5 | Hypnoxas | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crousi | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | PentoXx | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Icy | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ShebX | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | dannyabcro | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raiden | 115 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Icy | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | ShebX | 58 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | MrSkopelos27 | 52 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | PentoXx | 48 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laesche | +5.61 | 92 | 23 |
| #2 | ShebX | +3.71 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | Hypnoxas | +1.57 | 68 | 84 |
| #4 | dannyabcro | +1.40 | 51 | 65 |
| #5 | MrSkopelos27 | +1.40 | 63 | 65 |





