








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1383 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 507 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1085 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,524 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyo | 67% | 57 |
| #2 | wolf | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | dog | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyo | 67% | 57 |
| #2 | wolf | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | dog | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 9 | 0.0259 |
| #2 | Keyo | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | dog | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dog | 90 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | wolf | 73 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Keyo | 5 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #4 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyo | +3.60 | 78 | 23 |
| #2 | Quark | +2.74 | 83 | 43 |
| #3 | dog | +2.39 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | +0.56 | 52 | 36 |
| #5 | wolf | -3.23 | 38 | 46 |





