








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 288 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 88 | 1% |
| Smokes | 2393 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2415 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3165 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,904 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enouement | 256 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | gob | 171 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | Quark | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | .Fj | 67 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | d1lla | 40 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyo | +4.98 | 75 | 23 |
| #2 | Quark | +2.25 | 81 | 39 |
| #3 | Enouement | +2.05 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | .Fj | +1.99 | 36 | 70 |
| #5 | gob | +1.36 | 54 | 59 |





