








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3937 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2453 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1465 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3082 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,459,695 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yLeqiter | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Fabsy' ☁ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | ✪K!LLSWITCHⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝ | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Groffel ツ IZZ DA | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | ✪ Ecl1pZ | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tac | 43% | 60 |
| #7 | kyouden 𐕣 | 40% | 20 |
| #8 | Morgacin | 38% | 47 |
| #9 | >8< Kimitrix Bibri >8< | 37% | 19 |
| #10 | Yeff | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeff | 16 | 0.0287 |
| #2 | ✪ Ecl1pZ | 7 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Tac | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Morgacin | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Groffel ツ IZZ DA | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morgacin | 138 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tac | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪K!LLSWITCHⱭ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝ | 68 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yeff | 57 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | kyouden 𐕣 | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Ecl1pZ | +1.40 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | yLeqiter | +0.25 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | Tac | +0.03 | 51 | 66 |
| #4 | Yeff | +0.03 | 52 | 58 |
| #5 | Morgacin | -0.20 | 52 | 61 |





