








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 813 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 578 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10476 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6814 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 9063 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7817 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,503,609 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k' | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | ♛Kewuu$cH♛ | 49% | 340 |
| #3 | HAKUNA MATATA <3 | 48% | 180 |
| #4 | SHADOWZ_CS2 | 48% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k' | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | ♛Kewuu$cH♛ | 49% | 340 |
| #3 | HAKUNA MATATA <3 | 48% | 180 |
| #4 | SHADOWZ_CS2 | 48% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Kewuu$cH♛ | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | SHADOWZ_CS2 | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | k' | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | HAKUNA MATATA <3 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Kewuu$cH♛ | 350 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | HAKUNA MATATA <3 | 242 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | SHADOWZ_CS2 | 131 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | k' | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAKUNA MATATA <3 | +1.39 | 51 | 68 |
| #2 | k' | +0.18 | 44 | 67 |
| #3 | Morgacin | -0.09 | 54 | 60 |
| #4 | ♛Kewuu$cH♛ | -1.18 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | SHADOWZ_CS2 | -1.28 | 35 | 47 |





