








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1752 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1690 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,171 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Citrustrack | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Argo :3 | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | ZombiebaconII | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | Ryan | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | Rock | 56% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 28 | 0.0206 |
| #2 | Render | 13 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Rock | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Argo :3 | 8 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | Puppy Cait | 7 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan | 237 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #2 | ZombiebaconII | 203 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Puppy Cait | 155 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | spencer | 110 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | Argo :3 | 108 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mace | +3.47 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | Argo :3 | +3.04 | 79 | 35 |
| #3 | React™ | +2.82 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | ZombiebaconII | +2.80 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | Neptoon | +2.00 | 81 | 62 |





