








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1403 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1612 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 865 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1595 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,101,517 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neptoon | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Mace | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Argo :3 | 70% | 46 |
| #4 | Puppy Cait | 63% | 51 |
| #5 | Meap | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Rock | 55% | 139 |
| #11 | Render | 53% | 47 |
| #12 | React™ | 49% | 39 |
| #13 | Grandmaster Shredder | 47% | 15 |
| #14 | Ryan | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 28 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Rock | 17 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Mace | 12 | 0.0332 |
| #4 | Render | 10 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | React™ | 9 | 0.0117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 306 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ryan | 203 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | LonelyPieceofPie | 186 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | diamondback | 184 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Argo :3 | 169 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mace | +6.23 | 66 | 72 |
| #2 | React™ | +3.10 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Argo :3 | +2.57 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | Puppy Cait | +2.49 | 54 | 51 |
| #5 | ZombiebaconII | +2.36 | 75 | 50 |





