








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 966 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1258 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1099 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 547 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $778,457 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 964 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | en kubikkmeter ost | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Marshall | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 60% | 77 |
| #4 | Zewkaz | 58% | 93 |
| #5 | MrRedsea | 55% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | -=Grandiosa=- | 49% | 51 |
| #10 | Selatius | 48% | 44 |
| #11 | [EXD] La0uD | 47% | 45 |
| #12 | martiNus | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | Slabzologi | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrRedsea | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Zewkaz | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | -=Grandiosa=- | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | [EXD] La0uD | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrRedsea | 621 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Zewkaz | 414 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 316 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | [EXD] La0uD | 181 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 134 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shocker | +3.52 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | en kubikkmeter ost | +1.38 | 61 | 79 |
| #3 | Zewkaz | +1.26 | 72 | 77 |
| #4 | MrRedsea | +0.92 | 67 | 76 |
| #5 | Marshall | +0.12 | 67 | 67 |





