








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3324 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3069 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4777 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3677 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $954,080 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slapptissen | 57% | 65 |
| #2 | sigurd.boe | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | JR | 50% | 121 |
| #4 | Rabbestappa | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | johnhestholm | 50% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | (skål) skattesvindel | 47% | 167 |
| #8 | Big Fish | 45% | 78 |
| #9 | (Caveman) Sam Losco | 43% | 61 |
| #10 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 41% | 29 |
| #11 | mumhatti jidrate | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbisen | 16 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | JR | 13 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | (Caveman) Sam Losco | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | (skål) skattesvindel | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | johnhestholm | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnhestholm | 434 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Rabbisen | 240 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | JR | 216 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | (skål) skattesvindel | 212 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 117 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slapptissen | +2.20 | 58 | 39 |
| #2 | Rabbisen | +1.30 | 53 | 48 |
| #3 | Андрей | +0.92 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | JR | +0.82 | 64 | 48 |
| #5 | Rabbestappa | +0.76 | 58 | 32 |





