








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 514 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3308 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2238 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 6293 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 1748 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,763,106 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Negerianus | 58% | 79 |
| #2 | sigurd.boe | 58% | 104 |
| #3 | Dr.Respect | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | ⛴ | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | (skål) skattesvindel | 55% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JR | 53% | 336 |
| #7 | mumhatti jidrate | 53% | 114 |
| #8 | johnhestholm | 51% | 421 |
| #9 | Андрей | 48% | 122 |
| #10 | Big Fish | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JR | 61 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | johnhestholm | 22 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | (skål) skattesvindel | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Андрей | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | mumhatti jidrate | 8 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnhestholm | 1607 | 0.18 | 36 min |
| #2 | JR | 712 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | Андрей | 288 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | sigurd.boe | 274 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | (skål) skattesvindel | 110 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbisen | +2.11 | 58 | 48 |
| #2 | ⛴ | +1.30 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | Андрей | +0.53 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | JR | +0.12 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | johnhestholm | -0.01 | 58 | 54 |





