








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1295 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1250 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 645 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 936 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,567 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | ⛴ | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | (skål) skattesvindel | 50% | 216 |
| #4 | Rabbisen | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | (Caveman) Sam Losco | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | (Caveman) Sam Losco | 46% | 63 |
| #6 | Андрей | 45% | 78 |
| #7 | johnhestholm | 43% | 51 |
| #8 | sigurd.boe | 43% | 49 |
| #9 | JR | 25% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (skål) skattesvindel | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Андрей | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 6 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | (Caveman) Sam Losco | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Rabbisen | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (skål) skattesvindel | 286 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | johnhestholm | 245 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Андрей | 194 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | sigurd.boe | 167 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 95 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnhestholm | +1.75 | 58 | 59 |
| #2 | Rabbisen | +1.33 | 62 | 49 |
| #3 | Андрей | +1.03 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | +0.35 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | ⛴ | -0.21 | 82 | 56 |





