








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 804 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 569 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3143 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1536 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 5412 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 4420 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,664,301 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 622 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | posty | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | slapptissen | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | eirik | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | Rabbisen | 55% | 75 |
| #5 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 53% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | johnhestholm | 48% | 71 |
| #11 | Андрей | 47% | 167 |
| #12 | mumhatti jidrate | 45% | 49 |
| #13 | sigurd.boe | 43% | 42 |
| #14 | Lorg (has water) | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (Caveman) Sam Losco | 33 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 25 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Андрей | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | JR | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | Big Fish | 12 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnSnowboard (Cayman Islands) | 449 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Андрей | 396 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | johnhestholm | 291 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | (Caveman) Sam Losco | 219 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Big Fish | 207 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | posty | +5.30 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | eirik | +4.54 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | Rabbisen | +2.50 | 54 | 51 |
| #4 | slapptissen | +1.90 | 59 | 39 |
| #5 | Андрей | +1.23 | 72 | 62 |





