








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 584 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4215 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3029 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4042 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1849 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,350,995 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sigurd.boe | 56% | 84 |
| #2 | Rabbisen | 53% | 336 |
| #3 | (skål) skattesvindel | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | Андрей | 50% | 121 |
| #5 | johnhestholm | 47% | 351 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Андрей | 50% | 121 |
| #5 | johnhestholm | 47% | 351 |
| #6 | mumhatti jidrate | 44% | 75 |
| #7 | W0PSIE | 42% | 45 |
| #8 | Big Fish | 25% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbisen | 48 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | johnhestholm | 27 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Андрей | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | mumhatti jidrate | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | (skål) skattesvindel | 7 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnhestholm | 1520 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | Rabbisen | 598 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Андрей | 288 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | sigurd.boe | 203 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | W0PSIE | 150 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rabbisen | +1.37 | 57 | 48 |
| #2 | W0PSIE | +1.15 | 56 | 73 |
| #3 | JR | +0.51 | 63 | 50 |
| #4 | Андрей | +0.05 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | johnhestholm | -0.15 | 56 | 52 |





