








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 793 | 25% |
| Smokes | 827 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 781 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 804 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,372 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BON | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | STROGONOFY #2624 | 47% | 60 |
| #3 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 46% | 61 |
| #5 | ROBZ #2624 | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 46% | 61 |
| #5 | ROBZ #2624 | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | KIR8Y007™ | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | J1NG3R | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J1NG3R | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | KIR8Y007™ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | J1NG3R | 86 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | STROGONOFY #2624 | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | KIR8Y007™ | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J1NG3R | +3.60 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | +0.43 | 66 | 40 |
| #3 | KIR8Y007™ | +0.30 | 61 | 28 |
| #4 | ROBZ #2624 | -0.50 | 77 | 24 |
| #5 | STROGONOFY #2624 | -0.87 | 36 | 47 |





