








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 673 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2385 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3772 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5957 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1557 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,078 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 588 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Forsaken | 48% | 83 |
| #8 | BON | 47% | 83 |
| #9 | Caboose | 46% | 61 |
| #10 | KAVOOKAVALA #2624 | 41% | 81 |
| #11 | StewelsFantasties | 38% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 29 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | J1NG3R | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | KIR8Y007™ | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | STROGONOFY #2624 | 8 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Forsaken | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 1534 | 0.13 | 38 min |
| #2 | J1NG3R | 622 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | STROGONOFY #2624 | 397 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | KIR8Y007™ | 164 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Forsaken | 145 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forsaken | +3.90 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | J1NG3R | +3.04 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | +0.29 | 65 | 45 |
| #4 | KIR8Y007™ | +0.23 | 62 | 35 |
| #5 | StewelsFantasties | +0.11 | 66 | 57 |





