








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 632 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 266 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7469 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9571 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7786 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6415 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,863 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 682 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROBZ #2624 | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | Timmy #2624 | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | J1NG3R | 51% | 228 |
| #4 | STROGONOFY #2624 | 50% | 501 |
| #5 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 49% | 581 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 13 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | J1NG3R | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | KIR8Y007™ | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | STROGONOFY #2624 | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Forsaken | 8 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J1NG3R | 620 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | STROGONOFY #2624 | 333 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #3 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 317 | 0.03 | 9 min |
| #4 | Forsaken | 126 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | BON | 119 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forsaken | +4.40 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | J1NG3R | +3.32 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | ROBZ #2624 | +1.52 | 69 | 39 |
| #4 | StewelsFantasties | +0.81 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | +0.18 | 65 | 45 |





