








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 704 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 549 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 592 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2818 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3172 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 8459 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 5077 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,096,710 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 504 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 50% | 501 |
| #7 | Caboose | 47% | 60 |
| #8 | Forsaken | 45% | 89 |
| #9 | BON | 44% | 86 |
| #10 | StewelsFantasties | 40% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 24 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 13 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | KIR8Y007™ | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | J1NG3R | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Forsaken | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flatmonk3y #2624 | 1278 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #2 | J1NG3R | 517 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | M4joRPa1NSA_TTV | 308 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #4 | Forsaken | 153 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | KIR8Y007™ | 139 | 0.04 | 4 min |





