








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 148 | 30% |
| Smokes | 59 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 118 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 167 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $8,237 of utility $4 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holden Tudix | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | ✰Rotirail✰ | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Rektbaka | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | Accursed | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | IcyEspy | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | LUVisWAR | 57% | 28 |
| #9 | Always | 56% | 77 |
| #10 | RauLSuki | 56% | 9 |
| #11 | Sciliya | 55% | 53 |
| #12 | zoeyorly | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IcyEspy | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Always | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Sciliya | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | bashful kitten | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | LUVisWAR | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Always | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | LUVisWAR | 62 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rektbaka | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | bashful kitten | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Accursed | 39 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✰Rotirail✰ | +4.34 | 59 | 46 |
| #2 | LUVisWAR | +3.47 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | astral Jags | +3.22 | 75 | 23 |
| #4 | Accursed | +2.82 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | bashful kitten | +1.74 | 50 | 55 |





