








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1888 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2560 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1887 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2282 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,837 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✰Rotirail✰ | 57% | 114 |
| #2 | astral Jags | 56% | 77 |
| #3 | IcyEspy | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | Holden Tudix | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | Rektbaka | 53% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bashful kitten | 51% | 178 |
| #7 | Sciliya | 51% | 211 |
| #8 | LUVisWAR | 50% | 58 |
| #9 | BabyCoon | 49% | 41 |
| #10 | Accursed | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sciliya | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | bashful kitten | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | IcyEspy | 8 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | Rektbaka | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | astral Jags | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bashful kitten | 204 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Rektbaka | 183 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Accursed | 163 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | LUVisWAR | 133 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sciliya | 105 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUVisWAR | +3.65 | 64 | 54 |
| #2 | astral Jags | +3.43 | 76 | 20 |
| #3 | ✰Rotirail✰ | +3.25 | 54 | 45 |
| #4 | bashful kitten | +2.10 | 54 | 52 |
| #5 | Accursed | +1.88 | 71 | 63 |





