








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1968 | 27% |
| Smokes | 988 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2636 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1771 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,576 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | astral Jags | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | gummie~ | 56% | 63 |
| #3 | BabyCoon | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | suze | 53% | 102 |
| #5 | ✰Rotirail✰ | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suze | 15 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | gummie~ | 11 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | bashful kitten | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | IcyEspy | 7 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | Rektbaka | 6 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suze | 291 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Rektbaka | 224 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | gummie~ | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | bashful kitten | 125 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Always | 120 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUVisWAR | +3.10 | 68 | 53 |
| #2 | suze | +2.97 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | astral Jags | +2.89 | 78 | 23 |
| #4 | bashful kitten | +1.32 | 55 | 54 |
| #5 | ✰Rotirail✰ | -0.41 | 46 | 42 |





