








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 619 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2209 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1073 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2227 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,255 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | astral Jags | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | Rektbaka | 52% | 168 |
| #3 | Holden Tudix | 51% | 65 |
| #4 | Always | 51% | 211 |
| #5 | Accursed | 51% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bashful kitten | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Rektbaka | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | IcyEspy | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Always | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | LUVisWAR | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Always | 421 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Rektbaka | 238 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | bashful kitten | 199 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Accursed | 197 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | LUVisWAR | 147 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUVisWAR | +3.32 | 66 | 54 |
| #2 | astral Jags | +2.98 | 71 | 24 |
| #3 | bashful kitten | +2.17 | 53 | 49 |
| #4 | Accursed | +2.06 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | ✰Rotirail✰ | +1.92 | 47 | 44 |





