








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5764 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4762 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7122 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6358 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,001,232 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4906 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sciliya | 47% | 183 |
| #10 | Accursed | 41% | 51 |
| #11 | smiq | 33% | 109 |
| #12 | Albert Norton | 31% | 68 |
| #13 | iGorestep | 30% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FAKE NEWS | 31 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | iGorestep | 31 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | smiq | 23 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Rektbaka | 20 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Albert Norton | 18 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rektbaka | 1089 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | Always | 321 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | iGorestep | 272 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | LUVisWAR | 187 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | BabyCoon | 154 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUVisWAR | +3.06 | 67 | 53 |
| #2 | bashful kitten | +2.27 | 59 | 56 |
| #3 | ✰Rotirail✰ | +1.74 | 51 | 40 |
| #4 | FAKE NEWS | +1.40 | 64 | 38 |
| #5 | Accursed | +1.13 | 71 | 63 |





