








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 954 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1988 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1814 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1690 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,328 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Otostaroto | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | keb | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | -r〄gue - twitch.tv/r0guue | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | ザリス | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | jOE | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ザリス | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | jOE | 56% | 34 |
| #6 | möhömaha | 47% | 51 |
| #7 | LewieUK | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | baR- | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LewieUK | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | keb | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | möhömaha | 314 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | -r〄gue - twitch.tv/r0guue | 107 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | jOE | 104 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | baR- | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ザリス | 77 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ザリス | +2.12 | 93 | 65 |
| #2 | Otostaroto | +1.76 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | keb | +0.93 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | jOE | +0.71 | 75 | 73 |
| #5 | BUMLE | +0.59 | 72 | 60 |





