








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3713 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1972 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1464 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1983 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,804 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomba | 64% | 58 |
| #2 | iCLARKEY | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | rusk is dead | 55% | 66 |
| #4 | Kingie | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | BUMLE | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomba | 64% | 58 |
| #2 | iCLARKEY | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | rusk is dead | 55% | 66 |
| #4 | Kingie | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | BUMLE | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iCLARKEY | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | rusk is dead | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | tomba | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | BUMLE | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iCLARKEY | 460 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #2 | tomba | 224 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kingie | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | rusk is dead | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | BUMLE | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iCLARKEY | +2.21 | 94 | 67 |
| #2 | tomba | +1.47 | 69 | 74 |
| #3 | BUMLE | +0.71 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | LewieUK | +0.32 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | rusk is dead | +0.03 | 87 | 42 |





