








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 296 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9335 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8660 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6400 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6727 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,952,926 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 674 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Heffa | 51% | 71 |
| #10 | Inzajt | 50% | 68 |
| #11 | Sunbro-San | 47% | 175 |
| #12 | nicozoro | 47% | 68 |
| #13 | SimplyKimi | 40% | 60 |





