








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 785 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10638 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8877 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6845 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6994 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,613,706 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 754 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ Duck666 | 38 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Intergalactic Glizzy Gobbler | 37 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | 「Jay_Liter」 | 30 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Milf & Cookies | 28 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | juan | 24 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ Duck666 | 789 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | 「Jay_Liter」 | 767 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #3 | Intergalactic Glizzy Gobbler | 743 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #4 | Astro | 474 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #5 | sEq | 461 | 0.20 | 16 min |





