








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1850 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2286 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1806 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2412 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,277,983 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSorcery | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Barney 'bait for it' Stinson (or | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | Tirpa | 68% | 68 |
| #4 | JimFknMy | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | k11 | 64% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | N1KK3 | 58% | 112 |
| #10 | SimonFknSay | 56% | 68 |
| #11 | Fevereagle | 55% | 51 |
| #12 | hetrix | 55% | 77 |
| #13 | Its_Je_Mattie | 51% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoFknLines | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | SimonFknSay | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Tirpa | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | hetrix | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | k11 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1KK3 | 577 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | SimonFknSay | 438 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #3 | JoFknLines | 396 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #4 | Its_Je_Mattie | 185 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | hetrix | 182 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoFknLines | +3.41 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | hetrix | +2.39 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | TheSorcery | +1.80 | 62 | 39 |
| #4 | JimFknMy | +1.75 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | N1KK3 | +1.45 | 66 | 79 |





