








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1026 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5691 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4170 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4759 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3676 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,887 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barney 'bait for it' Stinson (or | 66% | 68 |
| #2 | eL rátton | 66% | 44 |
| #3 | Its_Je_Mattie | 63% | 127 |
| #4 | blexen | 61% | 57 |
| #5 | Eckelstone | 59% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kilianus777#スキル/निप<3J | 53% | 171 |
| #11 | 3dfx♿ | 52% | 124 |
| #12 | IronAndi | 52% | 44 |
| #13 | Cipro_ | 50% | 96 |
| #14 | Fevereagle | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3dfx♿ | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | kilianus777#スキル/निप<3J | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Cipro_ | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | IronAndi | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | eL rátton | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1KK3 | 541 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | 3dfx♿ | 362 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | sIcK fLicK rIcK | 281 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Its_Je_Mattie | 258 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Barney 'bait for it' Stinson (or | 241 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hetrix | +3.51 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | Eckelstone | +2.21 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | 3dfx♿ | +1.13 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | N1KK3 | +1.12 | 63 | 79 |
| #5 | blexen | +0.78 | 84 | 58 |





