








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3945 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3461 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2920 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3358 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,119 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 945 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lebbie007 | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | bif | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Abyss | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | ✪KolTic | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | Zander | 57% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Abyss | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | ✪KolTic | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | Zander | 57% | 53 |
| #6 | Skiddaz | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | SHROOMS | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abyss | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Zander | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Skiddaz | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | SHROOMS | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abyss | 210 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Skiddaz | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪KolTic | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zander | 72 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | bif | 70 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | essie | +1.03 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | bif | +1.01 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | ✪KolTic | +0.96 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Zander | +0.80 | 79 | 52 |
| #5 | SHROOMS | -0.25 | 84 | 56 |





