








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4416 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3927 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3099 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3575 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,114,104 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | essie | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | Hazcs | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | SHROOMS | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Skiddaz | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | croosh | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Skiddaz | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | croosh | 50% | 24 |
| #6 | Defy | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | quez | 40% | 30 |
| #8 | Kora. | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skiddaz | 16 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Hazcs | 9 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | SHROOMS | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | croosh | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Kora. | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skiddaz | 183 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | essie | 164 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hazcs | 123 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Defy | 94 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kora. | 67 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | essie | +2.66 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | SHROOMS | +2.50 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | Defy | +1.43 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | croosh | +1.31 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | quez | +0.81 | 80 | 59 |





