








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2524 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6404 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3844 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3466 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $826,889 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle Ellie | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | they see me spinning | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | mrgeppetto | 50% | 136 |
| #4 | JakeAK | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | ♥ Puffy ♥ | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonny ☂ | 780 | 0.33 | 22 min |
| #2 | mrgeppetto | 479 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | they see me spinning | 233 | 0.37 | 5 min |
| #4 | JakeAK | 131 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | ♥ Puffy ♥ | 79 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrgeppetto | +3.77 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | JakeAK | +2.88 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | they see me spinning | +1.43 | 49 | 43 |
| #4 | ♥ Puffy ♥ | +0.59 | 50 | 46 |
| #5 | dvtr | +0.07 | 48 | 53 |





