








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1525 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1451 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 821 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1492 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,476 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | testicular torsion | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Psychic Kitten! | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | conesack | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | :3 | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | benito | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | anterior deltoid | 57% | 28 |
| #9 | yung shush | 50% | 22 |
| #10 | 2k | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | ^mt | 33% | 9 |
| #12 | wise | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anterior deltoid | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | :3 | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | yung shush | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | conesack | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | benito | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitsune# | 177 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | benito | 135 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | :3 | 95 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | divs2018 | 94 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | yung shush | 70 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitsune# | +2.83 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | benito | +2.65 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | :3 | +1.66 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | anterior deltoid | +0.92 | 84 | 65 |
| #5 | Norms | +0.72 | 79 | 65 |





