








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2103 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1881 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1041 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2384 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,265 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | warn | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | :3 | 70% | 40 |
| #3 | JM | 69% | 26 |
| #4 | divs2018 | 62% | 89 |
| #5 | ^mt | 61% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Kitsune# | 58% | 170 |
| #11 | Norms | 57% | 28 |
| #12 | Psychic Kitten! | 55% | 29 |
| #13 | 2k | 55% | 44 |
| #14 | yung shush | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitsune# | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | 2k | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | conesack | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | yung shush | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | divs2018 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitsune# | 803 | 0.23 | 24 min |
| #2 | divs2018 | 572 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #3 | ^mt | 382 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | benito | 367 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | yung shush | 247 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitsune# | +2.55 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | benito | +1.71 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | :3 | +1.49 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | ^mt | +0.82 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | anterior deltoid | +0.76 | 83 | 62 |





